did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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