well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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