How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
