yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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