quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
