Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
