Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
