Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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