I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
