um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
