this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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