Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
