Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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