It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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