But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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