JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
