my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
