Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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