i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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