That's when you crack a 10am beer
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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