my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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