sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
