I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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