508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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