It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
