PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
