The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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