Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
