arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
