so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am one with the molecules
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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