Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
