Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
