You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just had sex on a roof
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
