marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
