My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
