in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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