They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
