I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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