Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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