I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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