he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
