Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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