I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
