Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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