Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize