This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize