He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
