I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am one with the molecules
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize