i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
