I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Drake has all the answers
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
