So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
