Hey man sorry I got all grabby
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
