put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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