Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
