i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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