My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
