I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize