the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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