"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Never underestimate the power of titties
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
