Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
