i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
