I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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